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THREE MONTHS NEWS PACKED INTO 28 PARAGRAPHS OF UTTER WAFFLE STARTING IN IPSWICH.
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Time flies when
you're busy. Last time I was here the site looked completely
different (I could've said the site was a different sight, but
that'd be crappy so I won't just pretend I didn't deletedeletedelete
etc etc
.) I think I was about to play at the Steamboat Tavern
in Ipswich, so it'll come as no surprise when I tell you that's
exactly what happened. The place was packed, Ina did the tape
loops and samples which helped confuse the audience even more
than they already were by my choice of numbers from post-Stiff
albums, and shambolic spliffed out demeanour. Then Andre Barreau
(of Beat Group and Beatleg fame) came up and played guitar with
us. It was a weird night. The crowd liked Reconnez Cherie best
I think, and a bloke told me afterwards that that Final Taxi
number's got a lot of soul
But we did some new things Ladypower,
2**Hotel, I Stayed The Night, which they didn't seem to like
at all. Ipswich is very much looking forward to the eighties,
they think it's going to be a very exciting decade for them.
Thanks go to Jeff Higgot for organising the event, and also to
the landlady of the Steamboat Tavern, which has the making of
a fine venue. |
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David (Pere
Ubu) Thomas and Two Whipping Boys |
| The
Brighton date at The Lift with David Thomas and Two Pales Boys
was a hoot. David Thomas certainly wasn't. When we got there they'd
just completed a four hour soundcheck and we're talking about
one accordion, one vocal, one guitar and a trumpet and sampler
configuration in a little club. I got the impression that David
is somewhat fucked-up. He avoided eye contact and insisted on going
on first even though it was really his night. He's a very fat bloke
and carries a hip flask and has trouble breathing and walking and
stuff like that. The trumpet player was fabulous, he had a bug
mike on the trumpet and sometimes he seemed to be singing through
the trumpet into some weird effects unit. David kept shouting at
him he shouted at the band rather a lot in between being utterly
charming to the audience in that slightly smarmy way that a lot
of American entertainers are so good at. Oh we've just lost America.
I'm sorry if your American I love 'em myself, but not the smarmy
entertainer ones. Anyway the David Thomas set was OK in parts but
it was very designer Kerouac. During our set I made sure that I
was rude to everybody, band and audience in order to counteract
any accusations of smarminess. We were good, especially Ina and
my organ playing. I'm not being bigheaded I have very little
control over good and bad. Apart from keeping in practise and getting
the concentration right the rest of it's a matter of luck with
me. |
| Cheetah
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| I've
been playing the organ with a local Brighton group called Cheetah
who do very dim macho hard rock. The songs have titles like Climax
and Hard On and they perform wearing leather in front of projections
of porno films. I recorded some tracks for them last year but they
got Sanj from Indian Ropeman to play the organ live (probably because
they thought he was more famous than me). I was Sanj's replacement
which was a daunting prospect. I've only done one gig with them
which was at the Zap Club in Brighton on the 28th May. They should
fire their soundman. They rehearse every week and it's like a Spinal
Tap soap opera. One week the bass player said they needed to work
on their interview technique because they'd got an interview with
the local paper, the next week the drummer's girlfriend left him
and there was high drama in the rehearsal room. Latest news on
Cheetah is that there isn't any cos Nick the guitar player roadies
for Indian Ropeman (top Skint Records act) and they've got a gig
in Ibiza or somewhere, so the Cheetah gigs have been blown out
which doubtless means more drama but sadly no rehearsal at which
to witness it. |
| Dury
Tribute Week the rehearsal |
| I'm
sure everybody wants to know about the Dury tribute that is if
anyone can remember that far back. (I'm sorry I'm so flaky but
I did warn you). It was a bit of a week. On the Wednesday I had
to go and rehearse with the Blockheads in North London. I'd spent
weeks singing along with Clevor Trever learning the words verbatim
off the record, experimenting with the phrasing, getting the breathing,
the timing just right. I knew it inside out. The rehearsal room
wasn't what I'm used to some darkened shit-hole that you go for
an hour or so as necessary. No, this was much more up-market. It
was also full of the road crew as well as the band. Denise Roudette
had just finished rehearsing Wake Up when I got there and it had
evidently gone swimmingly well. I didn't the band started up
and I forgot everything. In that sort of situation there's always
the possibility that somebody's going to fuck-up, and I think my
way of dispelling tension was to make sure it was me. It seemed
to take for ever to get it right, under the watchful gaze of the
entire crew who were later joined by Robbie Williams who went round
hugging everyone. Well, I thought, it's my rehearsal, so I said "hi
I'm Eric" and we shook hands and he said "Rob". I'd heard he wasn't
a great conversationalist. I was saved from saying something like "oh
I thought you were Brian" by the timely intervention of Rob's security
man who had a call for him on the mobile. Anyway, we sorted out
Clevor Trever and the Blockheads assured me it'd be alright on
the night (which I knew anyway because it always is it just that
I'm crap at rehearsals and soundchecks I get nervous), and I
left them to Sweet Gene Vincent and Robbie Williams. |
| Big
break in filing report (and just about everything else) due to
building work and missing plumber. - August 20th |
| My
friend Clay in Atlanta says that plumbers are an international
problem. Ours certainly is it took him two and a half weeks to
do two days work. The trouble was that we had to put the radiator
where the sink was and the sink where the radiator had been, and
also put a gas pipe the full length of the flat. Up until now we've
been cooking on electric plates which everybody knows is crap.
The plumber came along on a Tuesday evening, took up a lot of floorboards,
disconnected the hot water supply, and disappeared for a week.
I won't bore you with the details but the job involved ripping
down a stud wall and starting again, and a lot of re-plastering
as well as fitting a new kitchen (which we got from Ikea and customised).
I also moved the electricity meter which you're not supposed to
do yourself because it's very dangerous and more importantly gives
the electricity board that thing that boring old gits call a licence
to print money. They wanted £350 up front before they'd make an
appointment, and then it'd be a minimum of six weeks waiting time.
So what you do is cut the floorboard all round the incoming cable
with a power saw, rip the meter board off the wall where it's been
screwed in behind the meter, and re-position the thing at right
angles to where it was in a far more sensible position. Then you
put the floorboards back together with a bit of ingenuity and you've
saved a lot of time, money and inconvenience, and you can carry
on fitting your kitchen. They don't call me Wreckless for nothing.
I hope nobody from Seeboard reads this. And that's why I haven't reported on the Brixton Academy, Gaz's Rockin' Blues, our surprise appearance with Elastica at the Brighton Concorde, and my solo dates in Leeds and Hull. So that's what I'm going to do now. |
| Gaz's
Rockin' Blues 15th June
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| A
notable gig in that the air conditioning unit, which was above
the stage at head banging height, packed up and emptied out a gallon
or two of diluted legionnaires disease on us and our equipment
as we played. Every time Will hit his crash cymbal it was like
a truck driving past in wet weather I was soon soaking wet down
one side. It's amazing how much water there is in a clapped out,
broken down ex-air conditioner. The Southern Domestic flashlights
that some of you may have noticed us sporting at concert appearances
came in very useful for mid-set mop-ups and fuse changes. We played
well and I think we had a good thing going with the audience, although
some of them were a little bewildered by our lack of a horn section
and all round un-rootsiness. We're probably the most avantgarde
group to ever play at Gaz's. The big surprise of the evening was the arrival of my old band members from the Stiff days, John Brown and Eunan Brady. Will's brother, Richard, our contact in the adhesive sticker business, and a Stiff fan from the Alexander Street days, nearly had a heart attack. I haven't seen John for sixteen years or something. He was the longest surviving band member we went through a lot together, like two American tours plus the Be Stiff Bottom Line dates, hideous European excesses, an Australian tour, not being on Stiff anymore, bad management, and the beginning of Captains Of Industry. Then we sort of lost touch as you do. I'm glad we're back in contact. It's great to talk to him about the tours and everything I was beginning to think I'd imagined it all. John reminded me of how when we came back from a tour involving Canada, the USA, New Zealand and Australia, most of the Stiff staff didn't even know who we were, let alone where we'd been and how well it'd gone. We felt let down. A week later Dave Robinson sacked the band (without even mentioning it to me), and I started the long process of extricating myself from what had become the shitty-est independent label in the world. The other surprise of the evening was Take The Cash which we played with no prior rehearsal whatsoever (Ina listened to the record twice having never heard it before, while I talked all the way through it to cover my shyness and embarrassment). Will remembered hearing it through his brother's bedroom door. We had a pretty good handle on it. It was like Primal Scream doing Motorhead (except not quite as good). It was featured on Lock Stock on the telly two nights before. I missed it but Annie Nightingale rang in near hysterics to tell me it'd been on. So we had to do it, and Brady sang the backing vocals. Unfortunately, it never occurred to me that we had a bass guitar knocking about or John could've joined in too. |
| June
16th Brixton Academy |
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| Having
rung ourselves out and re-loaded the van we said goodbye to Gaz's
Rockin' Blues (or at least the security men at street level), and
headed back to Brighton. We slung everything into the saloon bar
at the Free Butt (Will's back as manager again) and enjoyed about
three and a half hours sleep before we had to get the van back
to the hire place and exchange it for a couple of hire cars. Back
that time we really didn't give a fuck about anything anymore.
They told us to be there at two, so we were, regardless of the
hanging about until something like six o'clock when we finally
soundchecked. The crew were frazzled several of them screamed
at me for plugging my Supro short scale bass into a guitar amp it
doesn't say anything here about a drum machine they said, and Christ
they've got two bass guitars. We extended the Southern Domestic line-up for the night (or the one number). As you'll know if you've seen us play in the last year, we haven't got a bass player it's just me, Will and Ina. We've sort of half given up on ever finding one they're either unsuitable or complete crap and unsuitable, or otherwise occupied. But you can't do something the size of the Academy without bass. I believe the place holds four thousand, and it was sold out. You've got to pulsate, so we got David Catlin Birch who's fab, but otherwise occupied in World Party. We also got Andre to play guitar just to show him that it's not all as glamorous as Ipswich. I think we were supposed to play Whole Wide World but we did Sign Of The Chicken because it's our favourite and we're not a nostalgia group. I'm very proud of Whole Wide World, but I'm not a porn star, and I don't come up with the money shot to order. (I'm almost sure that that doesn't make sense but I'll leave it in anyway!!!). Originally I was told to be prepared to do three or four numbers, then it was cut to two or three, then one number (Whole Wide World of course is what they said) and be prepared to do another, depending on how much time there is. At this point I was considering pulling out because it was beginning to look like a variety show with all the comedians on the bill, and also Joe Strummer had cancelled, and I don't think Jarvis Cocker or Pete Townshend had actually been asked. I'm glad I didn't pull out though. We always enjoy the big gigs. I like the tension not that I find them particularly tense making there're so many people working on it that nothing goes wrong, or if it does you're covered from every conceivable angle anyway and the audience is usually enthusiastic from the start, which makes a change from the usual thirty-seven people in a club on a wet Tuesday night. The stage manager was a pain in the arse. Wilko Johnson was on before us and there was a panic because he went missing for ten minutes, so with my name and reputation and the fact that people in positions of authority always assume that I'm thick meant that we had to stand rooted to the spot right through Wilko's set. I think we took everybody by surprise by strolling on and being ready to go before the crew were. It was very funny all those people and we acted like the support band in a pub . My opening line was I think I want to go for a piss . Andre and I indulged our Parfitt/Rossi fantasy, but subtly so that the audience wouldn't notice (Status Quo were Southern Domestic joke of the day they should've been there). I'm sure we were a hard act for Chas'n' Dave to follow not that I think they would've noticed, they looked like they were keen to get off somewhere else - probably a supper club engagement in Walthamstow. There was a lot of nervousness going on backstage. Artistes were pacing around trying to remember the lines to Ian's songs. When you get down to it they aren't as simple as they might first appear. I fucked-up Clevor Trever I got distracted for an instant and had to delicately balance the bridge across the instrumental link, which was odd because Mickey Gallagher had just told me how Ian performed it with a session band on Pebble Mill, when he lost his place the band didn't wait for him to catch up, they just kept reading the dots, and Ian being Ian stuck to his guns and they both finished separately. I got away with it though and at least I didn't have to resort to the lyric sheet which a lot of performers did. I got to meet Mick Jones for the first time ever. He came up to me and started talking about John Brown funnily enough they went to school together. He said he'd always liked my stuff. I met Glen Matlock too, and Kathy Burke. She was wonderful, but I was so over-awed that I couldn't speak, so she probably thinks I'm simple or stuck-up or something. A few days later I was in the local deli in Kemptown, buying a sandwich for lunch. This bloke kept staring at me. Then he said to the assistant (as if I wasn't there) I know he's famous for something but I can't think what is he a cartoonist or something? I laughed myself silly. That night we played with Elastica at the Concorde in Brighton. I went to the soundcheck with Annie the bass player who's a mate of mine, and it was decided at about seven o'clock. It was a bit rough because we didn't have time for a soundcheck, but the indie kids liked it and so did Justine. I've never met her before. I thought she'd be terrifying but she was really rather sweet. Since then we haven't done anymore Southern Domestic gigs. Will's running the Freebutt, Ina had an exhibition in Stuttgart and I've been doing the kitchen and writing a new set (very slowly). I also recorded Clevor Trever with the Blockheads for an album called Brand New Boots and Panties, a re-make of Ian's first album by famous people, and me. It was a thrill working with the Blockheads and Laurie Latham who's engineering/producing. Apart from singing, I played fuzz bass and tape recorder scratching (frequencies and shit). I'm really pleased with my version, it's different to the original and the way the Blockheads played it live. That was my one reservation I didn't want to do it like a cheap Ian substitute. I hope everyone else likes it too no I don't, I hope it upsets a few people!! It should be out on EC1 in October or November. Apart from that I went to Leeds and Hull to do a couple of solo concerts. Leeds was bizarre and Hull was fantastic. I performed Whole Wide World just yards from where I originally wrote it!! I'll write about Hull in more detail later. |
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I've been
following the Len Bright Combo campaign and I agree that
it's time to do something about it. When people start paying
a hundred dollars for a record it stops being music somehow.
I've taken preliminary steps to get those albums re-released
although it's too early to go into details yet. I've talked to
Bruce Brand (LBC drummer) about it all, and he's in full agreement.
We'll have to see what happens next. |
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© Eric Goulden, September 1st, 2000 |
