Let's not stand on ceremony
I don't like you and you don't own me
And this game stripped down to the basics
Is wiping smiles off people's faces

Step inside and meet the bruisers
The A team lads are doing music and movement
They are under no illusion -
There's always room for self improvement

Blood stains on the brickwork
Tiles smeared with shit
Still-life on a cubicle door
Cocks bums and tits
The lads indulge in horseplay in the showers
All of them are hung like donkeys but with
Almost twice the mental prowess
Tall blue-eyed white skinned blonde haired and handsome
The beefy boys in the hometown team
Clean up and sing the anthem

But not forgetting romance
Time in the sack
Off-loading of the missile
Right up the crack
The lads arrange a whip round for some flowers
A very nearly sentimental scene in
The normal visiting hours
Wet the baby's head and sing the anthem
Then the beefy boys set off in search of
Some new heads to stamp on


words and music Eric Goulden (MCPS / Copyright Control)